Resound 11, Prompt 13: Best Gift

Today’s prompt is brought to you by Krissie from Questions for Dessert and @krissieb.

The holiday season is typically a time we focus on others, sometimes at the expense of ourselves. I can get so caught up in the expectations of the season that I have a hard time remembering to enjoy the peace and wonder of the season. I can forget to take time to care for myself. So lets look back on how we cared for ourselves. Maybe we’ll inspire each other to take a few minutes for ourselves today.

What was the best gift you gave yourself this year? Did you buy big, fluffy towels? Did you have a massage on a day when you really needed it? Did you forgive someone and give yourself the freedom from that grudge?

How will you resound?

The best gift I gave myself is the permission to live in the moment. I know I’ve said this in past resound posts, but here’s the deal:

• I found the career I am currently in when I wasn’t even looking to change careers. It’s brought me more financial security than my previous job (journalism), it better matches my personality and skills, it offers me some of the same things I love about journalism (learning, teaching and communicating) and it’s introduced me to so many great things, ideas, inspirations and people.
• I found the job I’m currently in when I stumbled across it online. I always believe in keeping an eye out for job descriptions that sound interesting. In my previous job, I wasn’t happy and I had finished up a rather intense round of job searching (8 on-campus interviews in several different states over a 2-3 month period) and decided that what I wanted and needed wasn’t out there and I needed to wait a bit, hold off and recharge myself before going through such an intensive process again. Job interviews in my field generally entail a 30-60 minute phone interview and a 1-2 day on-campus interview. Then I saw the posting for this job and things just gradually fell into place, despite a variety of stops and starts in the 4.5 months between me seeing the posting and starting the position. Most importantly, every part of the job search process (even when I was told the search might be suspended) just felt right.
• Although I joined eHarmony intended to start dating and meeting people in my new town, I never expected that I would fall in love with and end up marrying and having a baby with one of the first people I met in person from the site.
• I always knew that I would experience the death of my grandparents, but when my grandfather was diagnosed with a slow-growing type of prostate cancer, I never expected his decline to go the way it did. I didn’t expect it would kill him and I didn’t realize how slow (yet fast) and difficult that process would be.
• Charlie was the biggest surprise of my life. Especially with being on birth control pills to treat polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and after being told multiple times that as someone with PCOS in my mid-30s, my baby making days were seriously numbered. When Charlie was conceived I had missed just one birth control pill which I had taken the following morning, doubling up as the directions tell you to do in order to maintain that 99-or-whatever percent success rate. Um, yeah….. talk about beating odds.

So those have continued to be my life lessons. The surprises have lent the most joy (in most cases) and learning (in other cases) in my life. My natural tendency is to plot and plan every moment of my day, my life, to live by numbers and statistics, to nervously calculate risk and take the safer of my options, to think/worry about or analyze/plan the future instead of appreciating and recognizing what I have in the present. Over time, I realize that I don’t always know what’s best for me–and that’s okay–and that sometimes a world I never imagined possible opens up to me just by me allowing myself to be open to the possibility of whatever this crazy, fantastic world has to offer.  So for all the planning I do, I’m okay if Plan B–whatever life has in store for me–is the plan that ends up getting implemented.

Resound 11, Prompt 12: 12 in 12

 Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you’d like to drink, 12 cities you’d like to visit, or 12 monthly goals. The decision is yours. Good luck and have fun!

How will you resound?

I feel like I’ve been making a lot of promises I can’t keep these days. I’m not being realistic about my time, my efficiency, my ability or my energy. And sometimes, I’m just making too many excuses. Other times, I realized I’m still just working on figuring it all out. A while back, I decided that instead of making some crazy plan or promise on how 2011 is going to end (my final decision: it’s going to be fun and glorious and full of wonderful memories, it won’t be defined by a number on the scale but it will be thoughtful and intentional and not too indulgent), I’ve been reflecting on what is reasonable and important for 2012. And folks, I’m excited about it.

Here is a list of the top 12 ways in which I will live in 2012:

1. I will find a balance of intentionality and spontaneity, being planned and living by the seat of my pants. I will not be perfect, but I will do this well enough to accomplish my goals (losing 30-50lbs) and living life (like having a kick-ass wedding that will appropriately signify Evan’s and my relationship and bond).

2. I will read. It may not be much (6 books is my goal with a Project Happiness book club as the kick-off/send off) and it won’t always replace television (especially not my love of Breaking Bad, Dexter and Criminal Minds), but it will be a productive and more soul-fulfilling replacement for the time I wander aimlessly on the internet. (Pinterest and Words With Friends has, at times, been my kryptonite.)

3. I will reflect on and share my life with others. This will happen through the conversations I have with friends and family and the writing I do on this blog. I aim for a once a week commitment to this blog. I know I used to write daily. But I’ve realized that a) writing daily takes time away from living the life I want to write about and the experiences I need to have in order to reflect and b) I don’t want to use the blog as a replacement for real, live conversations.

4. I want to be an athlete again. I’m giving myself the next three weeks to aggressively treat (self-care) my achilles tendinitis. I will use my week off between Christmas and New Year’s to get back into a gym routine and develop a plan for the month of January. I will return to the doc if the tendinitis continues to flare up. I aim to start C25k training in March and assess whether I’m ready to do the Philly Women’s Triathlon again in July.

5. I will live in the present 80% of the time with the remainder of my time dedicated to reflection and goal-setting (or goal evaluation). This is a new skill/talent, so I need to remember to cultivate it.

6. I will work with Evan to start planning some family traditions we’d like to start and carry out throughout the years. (Current considerations: a “Thankful Tree” in November, an Advent calendar where you pull a holiday themed thing to do each day, an annual vacation and a simple family weekly tradition–like pizza/popcorn/movie/pj nights.)

7. I will continue to strengthen my relationship with Evan and not let us get too baby-centered. In 2012, I’d like us to have a monthly date night. (Hey–we’re starting small and working on setting do-able goals here, folks!) I want us to go to concerts together again. I also want to work to make sure that on the two days or nights we get to spend together each week, they’re not both monopolized by chores, errands and busywork.

8. I will somehow clean up my recipe collection. I currently have two full shelves of cookbooks, binders, cooking/food magazines and folders of recipes. Ultimately, I find that I spend too much time searching for a recipe I want because it’s mixed in with a bunch that I’ve collected. I’m not sure yet how I intend to go about this, but I ultimately want to pare down this collection, have one binder of favorites (the recipes we make frequently, whether they’re from a cookbook, magazine or a family hand-me-down) that I can go to easily and have a monthly calendar that plots out the regular meals we’ll eat with. And it would be seasonal since I like to eat seasonally. It would take the guess-work out of what to make for dinner. Kinda like this, only it would include two days a month where I scheduled “trying a new recipe”:

Seasonal Dinner Menu

This goal may appear to be more tasky than lifestyle oriented, but it’s simply a strategy I have for my goal to make the most of my time and spend time doing the things I love. I love cooking but I don’t love spending an hour or more a night planning, preparing, cooking and cleaning up when there are other things (family time, Evan-specific time, career goals and gym time) that I want to include in my days.

9. Instead of letting myself get frustrated, I will consider reframing those little annoyances as a productive, effective (I hope) way of not letting the things that I can’t control get me down. This won’t always be possible, but which each of those situations, I’ll evaluate whether I can reframe and move on.

10. I will be more intentional with my spending. Current example: I’m overspending on Starbucks and underspending on quality clothes that will make me feel good about myself as I try to get back to my pre-pregnancy size.

11. Insert semi-private, semi-undefined career goal here.

12. I will be flexible and forgiving. I don’t need to score a 100% success rate on these goals to consider it a success. I just need to be able to say that I’m doing the things that are important to me and I’m minimizing the distractions that keep me from living a life that allows me to celebrate and experience the important stuff.

Resound 11, Prompt 11: Best Meal

What is the best meal or best food that you have eaten all year? Did you make it? Did you get it at a restaurant? Do your best to describe the food and the experience with us.

How will you resound?

This summer, I realized that Evan was spending a LOT of money on salads at work and when the hospital cafeteria didn’t have salad or grilled chicken, he’d grab something totally unhealthy, like a cheesesteak. At the same time, since school was out and the cafeteria on campus was closed, I was making my own lunches.

It was at that point, we decided that for an extra $20~ per week (he was spending about $50+ so we actually saved about $30 and purchase more varied, better quality ingredients than the day old romaine lettuce he was eating), we could just buy chicken breast and salad supplies and make our own awesome salads for the week. And I quickly discovered that by chopping up all the veggies and putting them in their individual Tupperware containers, the produce stayed fresh and it saved me time playing salad sous chef every day.

So there really wasn’t one dish that stood out this year, but the incorporation of salads as part of a healthy, creative, tasty diet was a clear winner. My fave: baby spinach, goat cheese, roasted butternut squash, roasted or sauteed mushrooms, roasted red onion and walnuts with a homemade cranberry vinaigrette.

Resound 11, Prompt 10: High/Low

 Today is a bit of a choose your own adventure: write (paint, draw, photograph, record, etc.) about your best experience this year. If that’s not your cup of joe, write about your worst experience. Feeling chatty? Share both your best and worst moments.

How will you resound?

There were too many highs this year to let me be distracted or bummed by the lows. Seriously, I can think of one super-crappy, miserable thing I dealt with this year and it PALES in comparison to all of the awesomeness I got to experience.

The top 3 great moments of my year (and perhaps the top few things I’ve experienced in my life!):

1. Obviously, this little guy.

2. My first *real* (defined by: out of the country, staying in a hotel, for more than a long weekend) vacation with Evan. St. Thomas was wonderful and relaxing, and it totally let us reconnect after months of really busy work and travel weekends–and before mind-numbingly tired days as new parents.

3. When Evan proposed to me.

As much as I’ve been a slacker about blogging this year, I’m SO glad that the highlights are something that I have shared. Each of those posts have made me smile, giggle, grin and tear up a bit.

Resound 11, Prompt 9: Best Photo

#resound11 Prompt 09: Best Photo

 For the past 8 days, we’ve talked about our year. For the next 7 days (with a break in between for a special prompt), we’re going to talk about the best things of 2011, then we’ll round out the month planning for 2012.

Today, please post your best photo of the year. It doesn’t have to be the best technically, it doesn’t have to be the best visually, but it should be a photo that you consider the best. Does it have special meaning? Is it of a significant event or moment? Share it with us!

What if you don’t have a photo? That’s OK, share an explanation of a “missed shot,” or a photo you wish you could have taken had you had your camera with you or if your camera would have cooperated.

How will you resound?

Prior to this year, I never really thought about taking photos. Evan’s the one that’s good at that. But then my grandfather died and I wished I had more (although the few that I have are so wonderful that I don’t feel this regret too often) and then Charlie was born and he was growing so fast that we took photos nearly daily to document this rapidly passing part of this life.

But this, this is my favorite:

Aside from being anxious about the “what ifs” when I went through the genetic testing, my pregnancy and the labor and delivery was an easy and worry-free one.  Upon offering up his Apgar score, the nurse said with a smirk: “He’s a 9/9. I don’t give 10s, but he’s as close to it as they come.”

And then, a few days later, we had our first “scare”–a minor one in comparison to what some families experience, but frightening for us sleep-deprived, first time parents nonetheless. He was diagnosed with jaundice due to high bilirubin. It’s pretty common and treatment is relatively simple–a couple extra days in the pediatric unit with bililights and aggressive feeding to help get the excess bilirubin out–but when you hear the consequences are deafness, cerebral palsy and brain damage if the levels get too high, you get nervous.

Apparently, Charlie didn’t feel the anxiety at all, because I woke up and checked on him in the incubator after the first night to see what we have since called his Jersey Shore pose:

Resound 11, Prompt 8: Catchphrase

#resound11 Prompt 08: Catch Phrase

What’s your trademark phrase? Not sure? How about a quote or saying that you repeat often? Bonus points if it’s new for 2011, but we won’t be upset if it’s been around longer than that. Try to put it in context for us if it’s a little abstract.

Whoa.

How will you resound?

There were moments throughout the past year where it seemed like things just weren’t going as well as they should, despite my best efforts. There was one on-going issue in particular that just dragged on and was frustrating and annoying and stressful, despite my best efforts at managing it. In reality, I didn’t have the power to create the change to resolve it. One day, my boss said, “If it seems like it’s not working out, it’s just because it hasn’t worked out YET.”

That use of yet was significant. I do believe that no matter what happens–and I acknowledge that there isn’t always a reason for something, at least not one that’s logical–everything ultimately gets resolved and there’s always something to be learned or acquired from it. So whenever I am struggling with something, I just tell myself “not yet.” It’s not a catchphrase I speak necessarily, but it’s my little mental mantra that I use often.

Resound 11, Prompt 7: Achievement Unlocked

#resound11 Prompt 07: Achievement Unlocked

What goal did you set for yourself and achieve this year? Did you achieve something you didn’t think you could? Did you win an award? Did you set a record? Did you finally get your VCR from 1985 to stop blinking 12:00? C’mon, share it! Today is your chance to brag and get a resounding round of interweb applause.

Congratulations! You did it!

How will you resound?

Hmmm… I could say it’s scoring 69 points by playing the word “sex” in Words With Friends. Or finding an awesome pair of stiletto leather booties on sale for more than 80% off. But honestly, it’s this:

25.5 hours of labor–14+ hours of it at home. Less than 30 minutes of pushing. A brief desire to marry the dude who gave me the epidural that I had previously insisted would never happen. All for 8lbs and 3 oz of a happy, healthy, much loved baby boy.

Resound 11, Prompt 6: Thelma & Louise

#resound11 Prompt 06: Thelma & Louise

So far you’ve summed up the year in one word, admitted your vices, touted your virtues, revealed your superpower, and let us in on your theme song, but no superhero does it alone …

Who is the Thelma to your Louise? Who is your partner in crime? Did you reacquaint yourself with an old friend? Did you make a new friend? Or, perhaps, you are a lone ranger?

Take some time today to look back on how you spent your year and give a shout out to anyone that helped to make it special. If you don’t have any close friends that fit the bill, think about who you spend your time with on a regular basis, who is the bright spot in your day? Maybe you joke around with a coworker just to get through the day. Maybe the barista who serves your coffee knows your order by heart and/or knows when to suggest you mix it up. Who makes your life just a little bit better just by being themselves?

How will you resound?

I would totally BFF a couple of the Starbucks baristas if it wouldn’t make me the crazy caffeinated girl. But as welcome as they make me feel there, I know I’m just the iced trenta 2 pump pumpkin spice iced coffee girl and not Tina. So here are my Thelmas:

1. I LOVE my colleagues, especially the other assistant directors I work with. They make me laugh, they commiserate with me, they get me out of my funk, they both complement and balance my strengths and weaknesses and together we form a well-functioning team even though we don’t hang out socially.

2. My Ithaca friends. I have not invested a ton of time into maintaining my friendships with my long-distance friends (and it’s not like I have a lot of local friends monopolizing my time) but I appreciate that we each recognize that we have busy lives (careers, relationships, family, kids) and trust each other to know that just because we haven’t connected personally frequently doesn’t mean we’re out of each others lives or hearts. Sometimes we only get a chance for a 5-10 minute converation, other times we kill our cell phone batteries chatting. But I know there always there for me and believe they know the same of me.

3. My blog/Twitter friends. They inspire and challenge me in more ways than they know and more ways than I even realize sometimes. They’re funny, good people with such wonderful hearts and the kindest of spirits. I feel so fortunate to have been able to meet many of them in person this April (BlogGirls Rock DC, yo!) and often wish we all lived closer to each other. And I think we’d make great sitcom characters. Or better yet, talk show hosts!

Resound11, Prompt 5: Theme Song

#resound11 Prompt 05: Theme Song

If your life was a television show, what would its theme song be? What music would be cued at the start of the show or when you entered a scene?

Think about this past year. Is there a song that you’ve heard that has really struck a chord, one that has spoken to you? Maybe there’s a song that goes along with your one word for 2011. Maybe there is a song that you’ve heard that instantly cheers you up or makes you think of a special moment that happened this year?

If you can find a link to a video or snippet of the song or the lyrics, please share it and explain why this song is your theme song and how it relates to your 2011.

How will you resound?

Ummmm… is it possible to pick just one theme song? I feel like I have a soundtrack to my life this year.

Changes by David Bowie would be the official Primetime Tina theme song (see prompt one for the story behind that one). It’s ain’t “Thank You for Being a Friend” but it’s pretty dang good.

The song that would play whenever Evan or Charlie entered a room would be Home by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes:

My contemplative theme song that plays whenever I’m trying to figure out life’s challenges (of which there have been So Darn Many in the past year and a half–many more than I’ve shared on this blog) is Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

…There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back
I tell her that I miss our little talks
Soon it will all be over, buried with our past
You used to play outside when you were young,
Full of life and full of love

Some days I feel like I am wrong and I am right
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear

‘Cause though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

These lyrics speaks to my ability to quiet that voice of doubt and my faith that even when I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, I’m making movement, and I will (eventually) get where I need to be.

Florence and the Machine would sing “Dog Days Are Over” every time I left work.

There’d also be some Sufjan Stevens, Ani Difranco, Sarah McLachlan, Sara Bareilles, Mumford and Sons, TV on the Radio and like 5,000 other artists.

Resound 11, Prompt 4: Superpower

#resound11 Prompt 04: Superpower

 Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound … we know you’ve got one. What’s your 2011 superpower?

For those of you going what the what … stop. Think about it for a moment: what have you learned that you can do better than anyone you know this year? What can you do that no one else can? Don’t be shy!

How will you resound?

I had a difficult time answering this one. There are plenty of areas where I think I’m particularly skilled, but not any where I think I’m better than others. But my strength I realized is sticking with my convictions, being true to myself and communicating openly and honestly. I find this is true in both my personal and work lives. I may take a few days to figure out what my true feelings and thoughts are on a topic, but once I’m sure I know where I stand, I let others know. The reasons for this are twofold: I’m too honest to shut my mouth if there’s something I feel strongly about and I don’t do a good job following the party line if I don’t believe in it.