Bedside manner

The other night, I got home from work and the gym and realized I had a message. It was a nurse from my doctor’s office who left a message indicating I should call the office as soon as possible.

Ugh. Nothing like giving your patients some anxiety with vague and semi-urgent messages.

It gets better.

I called as soon as the office opened the next morning. I sat on hold forEVER waiting for her to get done with a patient and tell me why she was calling. Finally, after dozing to depressing classical music she picks up.

Me: I’m returning a call you left for me indicating I should call the office.

Nurse: Oh, yes. Dr. Chang wants to make sure you schedule your physical by March.

Me: I actually already have an appointment for next week. Is this in regards to the bloodwork I had Monday?

Nurse: Yes.

Me: And…?

Nurse: And the doctor will discuss your results when you come for your appointment.

So not the answer I was shooting for. What a jerk! I have my theories about what she’s not telling me, but I thought I’d make it fun.

Predict what’s “wrong” and I’ll send the person with the most accurate prediction my favorite workout mix. Enter by 9am Tuesday, February 23rd.

To help you along, I’ll tell you that the doc ordered the following tests:

  • Regular CBC
  • Urinalysis
  • Lipid Panel (HDL, LDL, Triglycerides)
  • A1C
  • Fasting glucose
  • Vitamin D
  • Iron
  • TSH
  • Possibly a full metabolic panel–I can’t remember whether she ordered this one this time
  • C-reactive protein

And yes, the doc and I will be talking about that nurse’s evasiveness and phone-side manner (though admittedly, I could have specifically stated I wanted the results over the phone).

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8 responses to “Bedside manner

  1. Crazy nurse. She could have been nicer. Maybe she isn’t allowed to say anything though?

    I can’t even begin to guess what is wrong with you.

  2. Your CBC results indicate you have very rich blood, a good sign. But your iron is low and you need to eat more spinach. Unfortunately, you forgot to fast so your glucose levels are skewed. Alas, the worst thing is that Nurse Ratchet called you by mistake thinking you were another patient! Urrgh!!

  3. i think they are probably screening you for diabetes, which judging by the other tests, might be related to some type of endocrine malfunction? sometimes glucose goes out of control with certain thyroid problems or medications. my interest is def peaked.

    also, a bit of nursey insight- this nurse…may not actually be an RN but an LPN or medical assistant, and in some practices/hospitals only a doctor is allowed to discuss test results with a patient.

  4. ha! I hate talking to doctors and nurses on the phone they never seem to want to actually say anything! I once left a doctor’s office when to the market quickly and came home to an urgent message to call the doctor asap, when I got him on the phone FINALLY it was just to tell me that he’d misread my pregnancy test and I was pregnant….seriously, couldn’t he have just left that message on the machine and told me to call back with any questions?

  5. Ha ha…. and I just thought I had cooties.

    Nurse Laura: you’re so smart! I think she is an LPN. Typically, the other nurse, an RN, is able to give me my results. And, yes, I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was in college and (related to that) metabolic disorder and pre-diabetic; however, my A1C and fasting blood sugar has been well within normal ranges for at least 3 years. She may have ordered the TSH because I complained that I’ve been maintaining a 7,000 calorie a week deficit without losing weight for quite awhile now.

    @Liz: I love the Nurse Ratchett reference. And I will eat more spinach!

  6. lol Actually, Lisa, they can’t leave a message on your phone because of HIPAA regulations about privacy .They don’t know who else may have access to your messages and who you may not want to know you are pregnant:-)

  7. So frustrating, Tina! I’m going with C Reactive Protein.

  8. @Lisa: I really hope you’re not suggesting I’m preggers! No way, Jose–not possible.

    @McLauren: methinks you’re right!

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